Thursday, July 12, 2012


Hello @#($@#*,

Yes, I agree that we should still make the zine too. :) There are a couple of things, which I think we can add to the zine to make it better that I would like to discuss with you when you have the time.

I'm sorry that the post from the other day made you feel bad. Half of me wishes you didn't read T.B. because I know you don't feel the same way as me, and every time I write about liking you, you must dislike me even more... but at the same time, the other half of me wants you to read it because I cannot tell you these things in person.

The only thing that I never wrote about in T.B. was why I like you. I know you probably don't want to hear about it, but one reason that I should tell you now is because you believed in me from the start and that meant a lot to me. Once I saw the first sample of our God Only Knows book you made, I understood that we were a perfect match; and from that day I believed in you too. The only time I questioned you and your talent was that day at the cafe... and the only reason why was not because of your skill or work but because I could see that you no longer believed in T.B. which, in a way, meant you no longer believed in me… and the whole time I knew it was all my fault because I started writing about you again recently. Anyways that bad feeling lasted for a week, but only for a week. I'm sorry about the Black Swan post but that was just my feeling at that very moment in time, and it has passed.

This past year has been the craziest year of my life, and
I never really believed in fate until I actually recorded all the randomness down in detail and saw it laid out in front of me. Even though it's bad to say, I believe that the earthquake and Willy's death were supposed to happen when they happened... I also believe that I was supposed to meet you and especially that we weren't supposed to be together as a couple as I had originally assumed because I probably would have never understood what it means to really love someone without this long hard struggle. I've been growing up a lot this past year and what I have learned is that even if you don't like me back, it's okay because my feelings for you is teaching me to be a better person. I know now that if you really do care about someone, you just want them to be happy- and if that person is happy, then you are happy too.



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